1. Notes: 23340 / 2 days ago  from 1612th2 (originally from syruppalin)

   syruppalin:

   the bags under my eyes are designer

2. Notes: 91899 / 2 days ago  from 7yrs (originally from gagweed)
   

   (Source: gagweed)

    
3. Notes: 878 / 2 days ago  from confusementation (originally from beneaththewillowtree)

   In case you ever need to brighten your day: Best of Olivia Wilde's Twitter

   Is it wrong that the only time I've been in the gym in the last month is to buy peanut butter smoothies? I try my best to lunge in and out.

   A mosquito just bit my ass so hard it almost felt good. Except now I can't sit down without a hemroid pillow. #thanksmaryland

   Wait I forgot - running smack into a blind man while texting - good luck or bad luck?

   Auto-correct strikes again. My phone turns "fed" into "F'ed" which is awkward when telling my roommate I gave the dog his food.

   Woot woot! Teen Choice Awards Nomination whaaaat? So awesome. Thank you guys very much. I'm glad teens like Dr. shows and not just porn.

   I know I'm in New York when I find myself at Sing Sing at 3am karaoke-ing my balls off with a bunch of beautiful strangers... and pizza.

   In a thousand years, archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.

   AAND my favorite:

   Glad the rapture didn't happen since I just got waxed.
4. Notes: 114623 / 2 days ago  from loveyourchaos (originally from veganlolly)
   

   (Source: veganlolly)

    
5. Notes: 321 / 2 days ago  from fuckyeahemmastone (originally from emma-stone-daily)

   (Source: emma-stone-daily)

6. Notes: 175 / 2 days ago  from diet-killers
   

   diet-killers:

   Chocolate Cheesecake (by fatimasounder)

    
7. Notes: 1622 / 2 days ago  from thinkinfinite (originally from aladyinchicago)
   "If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It is lethal."
   -  Paulo Coelho (via unembellishedthought)

   (Source: aladyinchicago)

8. Notes: 2845 / 3 days ago  from thelocalpaedo (originally from nevver)
   

   nevver:

   742 Evergreen Terrace, Tim Doyle

    
9. Notes: 1 / 3 days ago 

   I’ve tasted heaven and it comes in the form of a falafel.

   falafel

10. Notes: 129 / 4 days ago  from snoopdeer (originally from chowderlady)
    

    chowderlady:

    I laughed for hours over this

     
11. Notes: 18075 / 4 days ago  from snoopdeer (originally from pyrex-vision)

    pyrex-vision:

    aint no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets 

12. Notes: 700 / 4 days ago  from snoopdeer (originally from andthatlittleblackdress)

    asian:

    andthatlittleblackdress:

    I don’t get why people are attracted to butts
    like honestly
    it’s a BUTT

    unfollowed, blocked and reported for…idk…racism

13. Notes: 15310 / 4 days ago  from snoopdeer

    snoopdeer:

    my friend lost his mobile the other day so i asked if he wanted me to phone him and he said it was on silent so there was no way of finding it and i said well if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it 

    he didn’t laugh and he didn’t find his phone

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